Monty Python and the Holy Grail

In 932 AD, King Arthur (Graham Chapman) and his squire, Patsy (Terry Gilliam), travel Britain searching for men to join the Knights of the Round Table. Patsy claps coconut shells together to make the sound of a horse's hooves while Arthur "rides" before him without an actual horse. Along the way, Arthur debates whether swallows could carry coconuts as it was not clear how Patsy came to have coconut shells on him. Arthur is revealed to be somewhat of an expert on swallows and claims that the coconuts being used by Patsy were carried to England by an African swallow. Many Britons don't know they have a king and believe they are living in a self-governed commune, which sounds very much like a parliamentary democracy. They have elected an officer to make decisions, but the decisions are ratified by the people in a bi-weekly meeting of the people by a simple majority for all internal affairs, and two-thirds majority in cases of war and conflict. The ordinary people are against the self-perpetuating autocracy. Arthur recounts receiving Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake. People say that executive power cannot come from strange aquatic ceremonies, and only from a democratic system of voting. Arthur then defeats the Black Knight when he wouldn't let him cross a bridge. Arthur cuts off the Knight's arms and even then, he continues to fight Arthur with his legs. Arthur cuts off the Knight's legs as well and the Knight agrees to call the fight a draw. Arthur then observes an impromptu witch trial deciding whether a woman is a witch or not, by weighing her against a duck. The men wanted to burn the woman, even though they had no good reason to believe that she was a witch. The argument is that witches burn and hence must be made of wood. Wood floats in water and so does ducks. So, if the woman weighs the same as the duck, she is a made of wood and hence is a witch. He recruits Sir Bedevere (Terry Jones) the Wise, Sir Lancelot (John Cleese) the Brave, Sir Galahad (Michael Palin) the Pure and Sir Robin (Eric Idle) the Not-Quite-So-Brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, along with their squires and Robin's minstrels. Arthur leads the knights to Camelot, but, after a musical number, changes his mind, deeming it "a silly place". As they turn away, God appears and orders Arthur to find the Holy Grail. Arthur and his knights arrive at a castle occupied by French soldiers, who claim to have the Grail and taunt the Britons, driving them back with a barrage of barnyard animals. Bedevere concocts a plan to sneak in using a Trojan Rabbit but forgets to tell the others to hide inside it. The Britons are forced to flee when it is flung back at them. Arthur decides the knights should go their separate ways to search for the Grail. A modern-day historian filming a documentary on the Arthurian legends is killed by a unidentified knight on horseback, triggering a police investigation. On the knights' travels, Arthur and Bedevere are given directions by an old man and attempt to satisfy the strange requests of the dreaded Knights Who Say "Ni!" (Sandy Johnson). Sir Robin avoids a fight with a Three-Headed Knight by running away while the heads are arguing. Sir Galahad is led by a grail-shaped beacon to Castle Anthrax, which is full of young women led by Zoot and Dingo (Carol Cleveland), identical twin sisters and Dr. Piglet (Avril Stewart) & Dr. Winston (Sally Kinghorn) who "examine" Galahad. Galahad is unwillingly "rescued" by Lancelot, after Dingo tells Galahad to spank Zoot as a punishment for lighting up the grail shaped beacon. Lancelot receives an arrow-shot note from Swamp Castle. Believing the note is from a lady being forced to marry against her will, he storms the castle and slaughters several members of the wedding party, only to discover the note was from an effeminate prince Herbert (Terry Jones) (who was being forced by his father to marry a fat, ugly princess). Arthur and his knights regroup and are joined by three new knights, as well as Brother Maynard and his monk brethren. A year passes and during the harsh winter, the knights are forced to eat Robin's minstrels. They meet Tim the Enchanter, who directs them to a cave where the location of the Grail is said to be written. The entrance to the cave is guarded by the Rabbit of Caerbannog. Underestimating it, the knights attack, but the Rabbit easily kills Sirs Bors, Gawain and Ector. Arthur uses the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch", provided by Brother Maynard, to destroy the creature. Inside the cave, they find an inscription from Joseph of Arimathea, directing them to Castle Aarrgh (In France) and warning them of the "Legendary Black Beast", a cave monster whose location of origin is obscured by a screaming sound. An animated cave monster devours Brother Maynard, but Arthur and the knights escape after the animator unexpectedly suffers a fatal heart attack. The knights approach the Bridge of Death, where the bridge-keeper challenges them to answer three questions to pass, or else be cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. Lancelot easily answers the simple questions (Name, quest and favorite color) and crosses. Robin is defeated by an unexpectedly difficult question (name, quest and capital of Assyria), and Galahad fails an easy one (name, quest and favorite color); both are magically flung into the gorge. When the bridge-keeper poses an obscure question about swallows (what is the air speed velocity of sparrows) to Arthur, he asks the bridge-keeper to clarify what he means (African or European sparrow); the bridge-keeper cannot answer and is thrown into the gorge. Arthur and Bedevere cannot find Lancelot, unaware that he has been arrested by police investigating the historian's death. The pair reach Castle Aarrgh, but find it occupied by the French soldiers. After being repelled by showers of manure, they summon an army of knights and prepare to assault the castle. As the army charges, the police arrive, arrest Arthur and Bedevere and break the camera, abruptly ending the film.